One of the downfalls of Kdramas is romantizing abuse of women and writing in the female lead as meek and stupid. Whether it be physical, emotional, verbal, or psychological, these scenes always make me cringe and somehow the abuser seems to win over their victims and they fall in love. It also teaches young women the wrong way to be treated by men. The era of Boys Over Flowers (2009), Model (1997), 1.5 (1996), and Secret Garden (2010) which displays affection as controlling and abusing women is slowly coming to an end. The newer dramas have reduced the amount of abuse and sexism but there are a few that slipped through the cracks. I’ve only listed the kdramas that came out in 2015 or later. If I had listed the ones that came out before then, it would be almost every show.

So I Married an Anti-Fan (2021)

I started watching this show because Choi Soo Young’s character in Run-On was really good and I was excited to see her in starring in a new kdrama and of course, Kim Min Kyu and his dimples are also in it. I could not finish this drama. The lead female Geun Young played by Choi Soo Young is a reporter who loses her job and her apartment and ends up in a reality show where she has to marry an idol, Hoo Joon (Choi Tae Joon). He belittles her all the time and on their first meeting, he grabs her camera and smashes it on the ground right after he grabbed it out of her hand. She immediately puked on his shoes and instead of asking if she’s ok, he called his manager to bring him clean shoes. I don’t know what the writers were thinking. Geun Young is a reporter which is a bad ass profession and only the best can actually get a job. This trope got played out with Boys Over Flowers in 2009 and is unacceptable in 2021.  This show had decent reviews but I don’t know if I’ll pick it up again.

Monthly Home Magazine (2021)

This one was disappointing because there was so much potential to be good. Jung So Min and Kim Ji Suk are fantastic actors and the story is decent. The female lead is again depicted as a pathetic loser. The male lead calls her “Na Bang Won” which loosely translates to “Na Zero”. He’s constantly putting her down and there is a scene where her ex-boyfriend traps her in a basement. She had the opportunity to tell his wife but didn’t. After watching so many of the earlier kdramas where the female lead falls in love with the asshole, I turned it off because I already knew what was going to happen and didn’t care to watch it unfold and be disappointed after 16 episodes. I’m glad I stopped because I later read some reviews and found out that Na Young Won’s (Jung So Min) character never actually develops. She was the meek girl who needs to be rescued by her abuser. I loved Jung So Min so much in Because This is My First Life and I hope that she takes better roles in the future. She’s a talented actress.      

She Was Pretty (2015)

I hate to admit that I love this show despite the blatant abuse. Park Seo Joon is one of my favourite actors but his character Ji Sung Joon is such a dick in this show in the beginning and suddenly changes when Hye-Jin (Hwang Jung Eum) has a drastic makeover and he finally recognizes she is her childhood friend who was so kind to him and his first kiss. He was constantly putting her down and making her feel dumb. There were funny parts and Kim Shin Hyuk (Choi Siwon) was the saving grace to this show. Hye-Jin is super dap dap hae (frustrating) throughout most of the show and I really didn’t find her clumsiness and low self esteem funny. 

Goblin (2016)

I am going to get into trouble for this one. I absolutely love this show. Everything about this was perfect. The music, the acting, the characters, the scenery, Kim Go Eun‘s phenomenal portrayal of Ji Eun Tak and Lee Dong Wook and Gong Yoo‘s hotness. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a show with such spot on perfect musical score and OST. Despite all of these beautiful things, I was completely grossed out by the Goblin/Kim Shin (Gong Yoo) meeting his wife, Ji Eun Tak (Kim Go Eun), when she was in high school. The ajushee/ high school student relationship grossed me out. It was a little too close to the issue of child brides. The story could have worked out completely fine if he met her as an immature 20 something. The only excuse I make to allow myself to love this show is that Kim Shin did not touch Eun Tak until she was 20. What are your thoughts? 

Something in the Rain (2018)

I know the point of this show is to highlight the sexual harassment in the workplace and other violence against women experienced by Yoon Jin-Ah (Son Ye Jin). I’m not talking about the obvious forms of abuse. What bothered me was the victim blaming from Jin-Ah’s boyfriend Joon-Hee (Jung Hae In). When she told about how her ex attacked her, he immediately told her that she allowed it to happen. She reported the sexual harassment from her superiors at work and nothing was done about it! In the end, her grievances went unheard.  

What’s Wrong with Secretary Kim (2018)

I absolutely love this show and I hate myself for putting this show on this list. The Vice Chairman of the company hitting on his personal admin is huge power imbalance. In the show Mi So (Park Min Young) is able to deal with him and get him to do what she wants and they live happily ever after. In real life, this would not go over so well. Young Joon (Park Seo Joon) is a selfish narcissist who only cares about his company. For non-Korean speakers, he never uses formal speech which Koreans use when speaking to someone who is older than them or someone who they don’t know very well or to be respectful, sometimes even with married couples or children to their parents. He speaks to his secretary informally while Mi So uses formal speech with him the whole time which shows who is in charge between the two of them. I actually didn’t notice this really obvious power imbalance until I watched this show for the second time because of how cute and funny this show is. There are so many good things about this show and this shouldn’t take away from it. I love that Young Joon’s parents didn’t try to marry him off for business merger purposes and they adored Mi So even though she was from a normal family. Park Min Young was also able to convey Mi So as a strong female character despite this.

I am so happy that newer kdramas have mostly stopped or significantly reduced romanticizing this gross theme. Another issue I have is when impressionable viewers watch these types of show, it makes some women believe they can change a man and make them kind. This unrealistic concept leaves real nice guys behind and tests the limits of how far women will stay with an asshole.

Uncontrollably Fond (2016)

OMG. I had such high expectations for this show. Noh Eul (Bae Suzy) took so much shit from Joon Young (Kim Woo Bin). There was maybe two good episodes out of 20. Noh Eul was portrayed as poor and desperate. Joon Young was a rich asshole and Noh Eul stuck by his side through everything. I don’t remember anything good about Joon Young. I only felt bad for him that he was diagnosed with cancer at such a young age. The only scene that made me feel anything but anger was the last time he saw his mom and couldn’t remember her.

Most of the have also stopped showing women as weak or stupid. Women do not need to rescued by their abusers!

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